Divorce: The Fear And Trauma
Divorce is the most feared word in Relationship Astrology. Unfortunately its a reality of life that many couples must acknowledge. Many of the clients who go through the painful procedure come to Astrologers to suggest remedies and to know what future holds. Its normal for people who are under pain to wish clarity about their future. But every fighting couple should remember that Divorce should only be the last resort when there is no other option available.
Nature created 1:1 ratio of male:female approximately. So nature intended humans to practise monogamy. Ofcourse karma may suggest separtion but most of the times its not karma but ego at work.
Ego The Driving Force Behind Divorces
There are many cases when Divorce is all but necessary especially when the Spouse is abusive, physical or over-critical. At that time even us Astrologers say its fine if you Divorce. But a lot of other times it all boils down to ego between the couple. Many divorce cases that come to us may have a few misunderstandings that are blown out of proportions or perhaps some difficult timings which make couples seek an easy way out. That same difference could pop-up with other partner also. So why not settle those differences with your current partner? If there are difficult times indicated by fate then you would suffer with or without your marriage partner so why not face troubles together? But most couples who seek divorce are too stubborn to acknowledge that they chose their partner and promised to share both the good and bad, happiness and sorrows, health and sickness of the partner when they got married. In India that promise is called Saptapadi while in Western World its called Wedding Vows. Ego does not let them see reasoning.
Try Reasoning, Counseling and Compromise First
In most divorce cases whether it goes to Astrologers or Marriage Counselors the first thing that those Astrologers and Marriage Counselors need to use is reasoning with the couple. To make them aware that even with some shortcomings the parter is a good person. To try and work out differences. To leave ego and differences aside and remember their wedding vows. Its fine when Marriage Couselors are involved. But Astrologers jump the gun too quickly. They just look that certain planets are saying they would divorce so they must divorce. Well the same certain planets in the exact same placement in some other couple's horoscope might not lead to divorce so why be trigger happy? If your Astrologer is someone who suggests Divorce without listening to both side of story from a couple then he /she is not fit to handle Divorce Cases.
People come to Astrologers to calm their mind. To get some clarity when the future looks uncertain. If there is small Saturn Panoti or Ketu transit via Eight House or other such minor issue then its necessary to tell the couple to wait out the tough period. Also Astrologer must look at reason why couples seek divorce from each other. If at all there is a genuine reason between the couples for seeking divorce. If there is not then its imperative that they advise clients to work out differences. Astrology and Stars just indicate at the troubles that a couple can face. They don't come and tell the couple to divorce.
Try Separation For Sometime
Sometimes its necessary to try Separation before pulling the trigger for Divorce. To not seek any long-term relationship and just to see if as a couple they can handle staying away from each other. Most of the couples who have ego issues settle down their ego and anger after sometime. In Astrological Terms Saturn and Ketu maybe driving force behind the separation. But more then that it could be a some period of a tough Vimshottari Dasha that makes them take the extreme step. After that period passes there are possibilities that couple can come together again if they set aside ego and try their part to make their marriage work.
When a couple comes at beginning of Sade-Sati, Ketu Vimshottari Period or Saturn Vimshottari Period then and then only its likely that they need to go separate ways. In other cases some time staying away from each other would help calm their heads. With a little compromise they just might be able to happily share life with each other albeit some compromise and adjustments are needed.
Why bother with Separation When Divorce Is Available?
Sometimes clients might be in no mood to compromise, adjust or even try separation for sometime from partners. If they feel a little discomfort then they just say Lets Divorce. If they were looking for perfection and fun-time only then they shouldn't even bother to get married. They can try live-in relationships.
Marriages come with duties and obligations. Marriages involve promises to stay together come what may. Marriages entail that a person accepts both the good and bad in the partner. Marriage is no fun and games. Its a contract to stay together and share everything that comes along in the life together. That is why even Karma has to bow down to a committed couple in marriage. Marriage is the only relationships where joint karma is considered valid. When your husband or wife does something you automatically benefit. That is why the Seventh House which deals with Partnership is assigned as Marriage House in Astrology.
Think Before Divorcing
Couple who are seeking a divorce should think over before divorcing partner. If it is about some misunderstandings and ego then they should resist divorce and settle things via understanding and compromise. If and only if there is abuse or over-critical or over-bearing partner and if he/she refuses to change ways then and then only the partner should try seeking divorce. Also if partner has been unfaithful or cheated multiple times then other partner should think of divorce. Astrologers who handle divorce cases should try to hear the issue for divorce before jumping to see the horoscope. If its an ego issue or misunderstanding then they should tell the couple to work out differences and stay alert during the difficult times.
And its necessary to try Relationship Counseling. They have experience and knowledge to deal with relationship issues. Some Astrologers can also be good Counselors but one must resist Astrologers who are trigger happy to suggest Divorces.
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