Stages Of Relationships
Every relationship which is based on physical attraction and an emotional desire passes through three stages which then define how that relationship will shape out.
- Blind Love: This is the stage in which one cannot see anything wrong with the object of affection. He/She appears to be the most handsome/beautiful person in the Universe. There is no one who is more smart, wonderful and caring then him/her.
- Reality Check: This is the stage where pheromone levels drop down and mind starts to see things clearly and rationally. Finally all those imperfections which he/she overlooked in the partner a long time ago become obvious. Now these imperfections and drawbacks in partner start frustrating the native.
- Acceptance: The best stage of all the three. Here the native knows the virtues and drawbacks of the partner and yet he/she chooses to accept it and grow steadfastly with him/her. This is the stage where every couple or potential couple should be but some never try this stage.
Divorce Phase And Reasons
Divorce is associated with the second phase of relationships which shows reality of the partner to the native. The birth time reasons for divorce are explained in the article: Astrological Reasons For Divorce. Over and above that there are other temporary factors which contribute to divorce as mentioned below:
- Antardasha/Bhukti Period of 12th House Lord or 2nd House Lord(For 1st Marriage Only).
- Ketu's transit through 8th House or 2nd House brings a strong disconnection.
- Saade-Sati which brings everything that is not necessary to an end. That includes relationship.
- Ketu Vimshottari Dasha Period of 7 Years which brings in strong desire to severe worldly ties and seek recluse.
Advise For Clients
Most of the clients who seek counseling regarding separation are advised to first get out of the second stage of relationship and move towards the third stage for their relationship to sustain and grow. Start accepting the faults in the partner along with the virtues. Know that separation over small issues would not get you anywhere in life. There are troubles in every relations and new start does not mean new beginning all the time. It may sometimes mean a new mess you are getting into.
Remember your wedding vows before going through the painful option of divorce. Life isn't only about sharing the happiness and joys with the partner. It is also about sharing the sorrows and difficulties with him/her. Divorce should only be used as a last option when all other alternatives of reconciliation and all possibilities to mend broken relationships have been exhausted.
Advise For Astrologers
Astrologers need to don the role of a Counselor when handling divorce queries. Most of the divorce are due to small arguments, indifferences propping up now and then, ego driving native's rational thought and sometimes the necessary physical attraction missing. There is a solution to all of them. Only when natives have abusive partners or in-laws and extreme dissatisfaction with partner is the time you suggest divorce.
Also check whether the marriage happened due to Guru or Rahu. Guru suggests genuine care and emotional attraction while Rahu suggests impulsive desires and physical attraction. So when Guru gets one married that could very well survive testing times. Whereas marriage under Rahu's influence is due to phermone levels and not rational thinking.
Also if dasha bhukti in which marriage happened are friendly planets for Marriage House and Marriage House Lord. If they are friendly sign then differences can be settled after sometime and living in harmony with partner possible. Even if there are enemy sign there could be reconciliation with minor differences.
Periods of Ketu, Sade-Saati, 2nd House Bhukti/Antardasha and 12th House Bhukti tests most relationships. If natives come at beginning of those periods then there could be likely divorce. But if half or more then half of that difficult period has passed then do suggest natives to wait out.
Wait Before Starting Fresh
In case one decides to separate from partner it is necessary to wait some period out before trying option of a new relationship. Reason is simple. Sometimes some quiet time cools off nerves and person starts thinking rationally. There could be reconciliation with the partner and sorting of minor differences. If you barge into a new relationship with past regrets, anger and resentment you would very well spoil your new relationship also. Even Counselors and Judge who handles relationship cases advise such initiative.
Try Healing Touch
Some astrologers are more interested in suggesting separation on movement of planets millions of miles away rather then letting the couple work out differences. They totally forget that the same planets and constellations made the couple accept each other and made them take their wedding vows in the first place. It is true that Prarabdha does bring separation and as an astrologer one cannot deny or change that scenario. But a person who comes with broken heart needs a healing touch rather then the brutal truth.
Astrologer should let the client take his/her own decision and only suggest divorce as last resort. They should try to Counsel the sparring couples to sort out minor differences. Many a times they might listen and blissfully move towards the third stage of relationship. The satisfaction that the astrologer would get from mending broken relationship would be far better then getting his/her prediction as accurate.
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